My fiance cheated
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My fiance and I have been living together and engaged for about a year and a half. 2 months ago while we were stressed about wedding planning and financial issues, etc., I blurted out that I was calling off the wedding. I didn't really mean it in my heart but I was frustrated and acting impulsively to our recent nit-picking fights. 2 days later we talked things out, I apologized and explained my situation, he forgave me and we were back on track. For the next month after that I noticed that he started going out more often with his "friends" that came out of the woodworks. He would stay out late, not return my calls when I was worried about when he was coming home, etc.,Eventually he told me that after the day I broke up with him he was so heartbroken and thought it was really totally over that he went on a date with a client of his that he ironically met that week. A day later after our fight he goes out with her?! I tried to forgive him and then through much snooping found out that he had still been talking to her on the phone and met with her at least twice -- after we were back together and the wedding planning was back on. I found a receipt about 2 weeks ago that he met her for dinner and when confronted with it he said that he did meet with her to "break things off" b/c she was very upset and really liked him and he didn't want to be mean to her. Well now the wedding is postponed and I'm moving out. I can't trust him but I do love him and want to get that trust back. He says he's sorry and keeps saying that he knows the only way to reconcile things is to prove to me now that I'm moving out that he wants to do whatever possible to get us back together. He claims he knows I'm the one true love of his life and that the move will bring us closer together b/c we have nowhere to go but towards something more positive. How do I move forward and get over the jealousy? - especially now that I'm moving out and he'll have every opportunity to be free to spend time with her if he wants. Is this a lost cause? Thanks.
You have set up the test of trust.
By moving out, he has a chance to prove to you that he will be faithful to you and care for you only.
If he goes back to the other woman you will have proven that you were right in moving out. If he sticks with you, you can always patch up your relationship.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com