Is it REALLY over this time?

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I have been off and on with this guy for the past 3 years. We were close friends before we started dating and whenever we broke up, we still hung out all the time. The break-ups were confusing and for various (mostly stupid) reasons, but those were the only times we ever fought. We fight more when we're broken up than when we're together. Whenever we broke up, I knew that he was fooling around with other girls but he never actually started dating any of them. Now we're in college and we broke up two months ago because he had the feeling that there might be someone else that's better suited for him and I felt like I needed some space to grow. From what I know, he didn't have anyone special in mind, but two weeks after our break-up he announced that he was official with a senior at our old high school.

At first I thought it was only a rebound so I wasn't too worried about it, especially since most of his/our friends aren't too fond of her and refuse to hang out with him if she's around. But they've been together for two months now and I'm not exactly a patient person. Plus, this time around feels so...different. He and I didn't talk for an entire month after the break-up (not normal compared to our other break-ups), and we still haven't talked face to face, but we've started IMing again. The conversations are friendly, as if nothing has changed (but no "I love you's), but I don't know if it's the right thing to be doing.

I'm beginning to wonder if he regrets his decision because, since we're on the same campus, whenever we are in the same place I catch him watching me from the other side of the room. He's a musician and not too long after our break-up he wrote and performed a song in a competition called "Tear in the Eye of an Angel" which sounds like it's about me but it's so ambiguous that I don't know what it means. Also, I installed a tracker on my blog and he visits it several times a day...almost as much as his new gf does. I miss him like crazy, but all of these mixed signals are confusing me. He says to our friends that he's happy with her, but I feel like he's playing with my head.

As for me, I don't regret breaking up with him because I've made so many new friends that I wouldn't have met had it not been for the situation. I've been casually dating 3 guys and they're fun and all, but it just doesn't feel right to me. I haven't decided if it's because it's something new and different, or because it JUST IS NOT RIGHT.

It's almost summer and since we have the same friends, I'm sure we'll run into one another (hopefully he won't have her with him) so maybe something could happen then. Also, we're transferring to the same college.

He wasn't exactly the BEST boyfriend. He had the tendency to neglect me at times and he did cheat on me once...but I'm willing to put that behind us. Right now, I'm beginning to miss all of the things about him that annoyed me (like him correcting my grammar).

Now that I've rambled my life story, I really just want to know if there is hope. If he will come back. If we can work out. Or if I really should continue seeing other guys and forget about him. Please help. Advice
My advice is to continue to see other guys but don't forget about him.

Continue to be a good friend of his and keep that door open.

Yet, you should go on with your life too.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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