I am jealous of my fiance's past
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my fiance' for 14 months. He's 36 and I am 21. He was with his ex for 10 years and they have a 10 year old son. We also have a 6 week old baby. After they were divored, he "got around." I didn't know how things were until we got pregnant and moved in together. Now I regret everything and can't stand the fact he has been married and has ever looked at a women before! I am upset cause everything is firsts for me and not for him. I feel like sloppy seconds all the time. I feel like he still loves his ex. I feel like he still loves her and always is trying to mold me into her. I think his life has been a basket full of mistakes and I have helped him get back on track. But I don't know how to get over this jealousy or if I need to just get out and move on. I want to be happy and think I derserve so much more. What should I do?
What do you expect when you are 21 and marry a 36 year old guy?
Of course you aren't going to be the first for many things. But, you are first time for him with you. In other words you are brand new to him and that is an important thing. It isn't exactly what you are upset about, but his history is something you need to get over. What will happen if you leave and find a new guy? Are you going to quiz him on his past and give him a grade? Lovers need to start anew with a new person. Don't delve into that person's past love life, it is water under the bridge and can't be undone.
Make sure he is aware of your discomfort and ask him to be considerate of your feelings when he mentions the past.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com