he annoys me sometimes
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years now. i love him very much and we have a really good relationship overall. however, i have a small pet peeve. basically, i feel like he is a hypocrite sometimes. i will tell him, "let's try this!or let's go here" and he will be like "no...that's okay. i don't think i'll like it" so i'm fine with that...but a few weeks, months go by and he will be like "guess what?! i tried so and so, or went to this place and it's really fun" and its where i wanted him to go originally with me. it just basically seems like whatever his friends do...he does it, even if it's not the smartest thing. basically, when he does these things i've suggested with his friends and not me, it makes me upset. i know it shouldn't have anything to do with me, but i feel that his friends have a bigger influence on him than i do. i want to share certain experiences with him and he denies it from me, but not his friends. so basically when it comes down to it, i'm jealous and annoyed that he purposely shuts me down and then acts like nothing ever happened. i bring this up to him and he either denies that i was the first person to introduce it, or just says i'm sorry...i don't know why i did it with them and not with you. i know this is a part of who he is, and this doesn't happen that often, it's just the few times he does it really makes me mad. bottom line my question is: what is his deal? why does he deny me, but not his friends? i really need some male advice on this one.
When he goes out with his friends he feels no special responsibility about the evening, but when he goes out with you he feels that he has to help make the evening enjoyable and to protect you (yes male chauvinism).
Suggest that you do things with another couple and he will feel less pressured.
Start writing down the things you suggest so that you will have proof that you suggested the idea first and he will have to concede the point
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com