Jerks Getting Girlfriends

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Why do all the jerks seem to get all the girlfriends? Advice
I don't think this is true at all, but I think when it does happen it stands out strongly so you remember it :)

For the jerk-daters though, realize that some girls love attention. They want to feel really paid attention to - whether that is GOOD attention or BAD attention. Anyone who has ever dealt with a 2 year old knows the mentality. The toddler will act up just to get you to pay attention to them, even if it means you're yelling at them!

Jerks tend to be attention hounds. They're being obnoxious, they're attracting attention, they're being rude. All of this is very attention-grabbing. So if the girl is out for attention, this is like a quick fix. They don't care that they're having people think SHE is also a jerk, or that the jerk is abusing her. All she cares about is the attention. And she gets lots of it. She thinks being a woman is about having everyone pay attention to you ... and doesn't realize being a woman is about having people *respect* you.

Luckily, most attention-hound-girls grow out of this phase once they're 18 or older. They realize they deserve to be treated like a normal human being, and that good attention is MUCH better than bad attention. So they break themselves of the habit of dating jerks. Sure, a few still do. A few never learn. But for some women, jerk-dating is part of the growing-up process.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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