female co-worker (with a b/f) who doesnt know what she wants
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
In June of last year (i was 18), the daughter of one of my managers at work started working at our store (she was 17). She was a pretty girl, I didn't really think much of her besides that. I'm not the kind of guy who tries to flirt with many girls. All the other guys my age working there were quick to start flirting with her. She never seemed to care much for it. After awhile, we started talking randomly while working the same shifts. We dont have a ton in common. But we seemed to click right away. Anytime we worked together, it was non-stop flirting. I would walk in the door..she would see me..and run up to me and jump into my arms, smiling inches from my face. At our company christmas party, we spent most of the time in the corner, in eachothers arms, whispering to eachother, in front of all of our smirking shispering co-workers. Everyone at our store noticed, everyone always made comments behind our backs that we looked like such a good couple. My mom also works with me..and her and my manager (the girl's mom) are always talking and whispering about us behind our backs and to other adults at our store.
We had always talked about hanging out outside of work. We didn't have a lot of personal time for that though. I was working 40 hrs a week, she was still in high school. But it was always brought up. It dragged on till she looked at me one night and said "So when are you gonna pick me up and take me out!?" Well one night I finally had the nerve to, I suggested that we go get dinner and see a movie. She acted extremely excited and said of course, and we would figure out the night later on in the week. I wrote in my LiveJournal that night..."I got a date with the girl I work with that i've been head over heels for for over 7 months!!".
She came into work the next day, asking who I was talking about. I was completely speechless as to how to even understand what she was asking. I told her "I thought we were going out this weekend?" She followed up with "Ah I dunno how my boyfriend would feel about that." Talk about a punch to the gut. I felt beyond played. I ignored her for weeks, wouldnt even look in her direction. After long stretches of not talking, we would always break the silence and joke around while we worked together. She would continue to flirt with me however. Little private jokes, always hugging on me, got to the point where we were flirting like we did when we first met. I could have pushed her away or kept ignoring her, but I had fell hard. It was such a good feeling to finally have, I didnt wanna let go.
Last month we got into an argument over something stupid, and stopped talking for awhile. Everyone knew, everyone talked. She would go out of the way to tell people we worked with that she never flirted with me, and that I just had the wrong impression.
This has dragged on basically up until now. It's still going on, and I have no idea how to go about handling this. Normally I would just lay the facts out, and leave the options open of either ditching the b/f and going out with me..or dont even look in my direction. But with the combination of....
----awkwardness of working with eachother
----ruining the chance of somewhere down the road, things working out with us if the b/f was out of the picture.
----the fact that regardless of all this, plus still not even spending time outside of work..i still feel like im completely in love with this girl (i'm almost 20 and i've gone through plenty of girls, its not a teenage puberty thing..ive genuinely never felt like this towards anyone, ever.)
is this just a teenage girl who doesnt know what she wants?
does it sound like this is something worth delving deeper into, or something to just let go of and give up?
how should i even approach the subject with her. we both know how I feel about everything, but ive never dragged her to the side to talk about it.
Do you actually know that she still has a b/f?
Maybe that's the way to start the conversation. If she still has the b/f then ask her to go back in time and explain why she accepted a date from you and then backed out. That is where everything went wrong and she needs to explain it.
From this conversation, you should be able to determine which path to take.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com