Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I recently broke up with this guy i was seeing. I believe i had good reason to break up with him. If he called me and i didn't pick up he would get mad but whenever i called him he never picked up claiming he was "too busy", had gone to sleep early or had his phone turned off. He pretty much flirted with other girls in front of my face. I felt that if he was truely interested in being with me then he could have taken time to at least call me once in a week to say hey how's it going or at least wouldn't have been flirting with other girls in front of my face especially when he knew i could blatently see it. He did write me short "i miss u" emails but they just didn't make me feel better. I started feeling like he was using me, just keeping me around while he looked around for someone better. I'm sensitive and get crushed easily and just dealing with all this hurt me.I sat around torn up for weeks wondering why if he supposedly wanted to be with me he wasn't ACTING like he wanted to be me. He claimed he was a good guy, that wouldn't lie to me, that he would be sweet to me, but i lost trust in him b/c so many things just didn't seem right, i would barely see him anyway(distance) and then he would barely talk to me (no phone calls). So i ended it. I felt strong when i ended it but now i can't get him out of my head. It has been over a month now that i ended it with him and i still think about him all the time. I feel like he broke up with me when i was the one who broke up with him. I keep rethinking the situaion feeling like maybe i was just jealous, maybe i got too involved too quickly, maybe i made it out to be more than i should have. But he's the one that made the relationship out to be sooo big in the beginning not me. Its like he started it off really big and then dropped it down to practically nothing right along with my self esteem. I feel i shouldn't feel crappy about the situation b/c every argument i had about him and the situation was true and valid. I feel i'm caught up in something i shouldn't be caught up in but i can't move on. Even if i have a day when i think i'm finally moving on, i wake up the next day and its all right there in my head again. I feel haunted. I was just wondering if you might could give me a suggestion on how to move past this situation and on with my life. I would really appreciate it.
You craved attention from him which he didn't give you.
So you rightfully broke up with him. But now you are haunted by his memory.
You should continue your effort to move on. He is not the right kind of guy for you. Find things to keep you busy. Go out with friends, look for anothere b/f, play sports, go to concerts, take community education courses, read books. There are many things you can do to keep him out of your mind.
And if he does come into your mind, tell him to go away that he isn't right for you and you are better off with out him. After telling him that 100 times his memory will give up trying to haunt you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com