a crazy thing called LOVE
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
me and my bf were together for about 9 months. i am completely in love with him. we broke up about 2 and a half months ago on good terms. we both knew it was for the best. he was very much struggling financially and did not have a stable home whereas i was still in high school and trying to figure out what my next step was and where i was going in life. im still just coming out which could turn your life around. the relationship just was not working. we talked very rarely for the first month and a half of the break up because i just wanted my painful feelings to leave. i missed him too much. just a couple weeks ago we started talking on a regular basis and even started hanging out as friends. it was what he said he wanted. yet my feelings are surfacing again. i miss him and think about him all the time. when we hang out i have a good time but then sometimes feel a little awkward because i really want to be able to hold him and touch him like i used to. i love that boy so much. i kind of let out my feelings to him through an email and he said not to worry and try to just take things day by day to see where things go. my feelings for him haunt me all the time. i see him struggling with his life and all i want to do is help because i love him too much to handle the thought of him struggling. when we hang out i dont know whether i should try to come on to him. sometimes he holds my hand when we are together and sometimes he just totally does not come onto me at all. im confused. i miss him and love him. i wish love was easier. should i remain good friends with him? should i just totally move on and try to drown my feelings for him? if we do remain friends how do i know when its appropriate for me to try to be a little more physical with him? is that even a good idea? so much goes through my mind all the time. im in love with a guy that doesnt even seem to love himself and it makes me so upset. sometimes i wish i could trade spots with him so he could live an easier life. i am so confused and heart broken and lost. please give me all the advice you can. im just twisted because one side of me knows i need to just move on and the other side just wants to break down and cry.
I am sorry you are in this difficult situation.
My advice is to continue on as you are doing. It is painful to do so, but there is a potential upside if you two get back together. The best way to get back together is to be remain friends.
The downside is the lack of physical contact that you want. Your choices are to suffer through it or to call it off. Only you can figure out what is right for you.
If you have a school psychologist you may seek profession counseling there.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com