I'm confused about what he wants
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I guess I'll just start by explaining my situation....I was dating this guy for over 2 years. A few months ago, maybe like 5 months...I had a talk with him about where things were going and what exactly I meant to him. He told me that he is very attracted to me, but that he doesn't know where he would end up at the end of the year (he is graduating from university) and that he didn't want a serious commitment. He said he just didn't have time for a girlfriend right now too......I understood that, I mean he is only 22 years old, as am I....but then two weeks later, I found out that he was with another girl...two weeks! I confronted him on it and he responded by telling me that their relationship 'just happened' but that it wasn't going to last cause 'he's not that into her to begin with'....I thought that was a weird thing to say about somoene you are supposedly 'with'......but whatever. I decided that I would just move on. But then He emailed me like a week later wanting to know what I was up to and to tell me that he hoped he got to run into me soon...and of course I was confused. So I wrote him back and told him that if he had any hopes of being my friend, he would have to give me some space for awhile - and I thought he understood that. Only he STILL keeps emailing me. He even emailed me drunk one night and told me that he thinks of me all the time, and that I'm the only girl that's ever cared for him the way I do, and that he thinks he's in love with me. He wanted to meet with me so we could 'talk'.....only thing is is when I told him I wanted to meet him, he turned things around on me, saying that he is 'still with his girlfriend' and that 'things there are ok'....and that he meant what he said in the email, but he was drunk, and that he didn't have the time to meet me anymore. Which left me so confused and hurt....I tried ignoring him again for awhile, but just recently, like a month after the drunk email, he has attempted to contact me again...saying that he still thinks of me and wonders what I am up to and how I'm doing, and wants to know what my plans for the future are.....but then he told me that if I don't respond to his email that he understands.......I guess stupidly of me, I wrote him back. But he hasn't responded to what I said....so basically, I dont' know what this guy wants. He says he's all good with his girlfriend, but he keeps trying to contact me.... I feel like if he is so happy with her, that he shouldn't care about me anymore. And I keep getting sucked back into him because I still want to be with him. Only when I respond to his questions, he acts like it is all me and , and says things that are innapropriate...especially if he is in a relationship with another girl. and then acts like I'M the one trying to talk to him. This must sound so insane, but I feel like I'm going crazy. I still feel like I want to be with this guy, but I don't know what is up with him Help!
He sounds like he has a screw loose.
He is playing games, whether he realizes it or not. It makes no sense for him to be writing you and then pretending that you are the one who is interested in making contact.
He may get nostalgic when he is high and choose that time to write you.
My advice is to refuse to communicate with him except in person. That way he will be put to the test and you can get a better read of what he is up to.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!
Put him in his place