My Jealousy is Destroying Us

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am 26 years old and I am very jealous of my husband. I hate the thought of him looking at or even being around other girls! I feel like he thinks everyone is better looking than me. If he sees a girl I question him for hours after-(Do you like her was she better looking ext.?)

I hate feeling this way!! We never go anyehere and I know its killing him. He works in peoples homes and I always ask him if there are any girls there, I think I would die if we didnt have a cell phone.

I love him and want to be happy and trust him. He is a wonderful person but I dont feel good enough for him. I wish I could go one day without worring about who he sees!!!! iI know I need to build my selfesteem up but is there anything I could do or even take to make the process a little less painful? Child birth 10 times is easier then this anyday. PLEASE HELP!!!! Advice
Wow, it definitely sounds like you need to get this jealousy under control. It can EASILY cause you guys to divorce when one or both of you just can't take the stress any more. Trust is the KEY to any relationship and if you are constantly worried that he is going to run off on you, it will become too much really quickly.

There really isn't anything he can do here - it is about you and why you feel so poorly about yourself. Most insurance plans cover therapy. I know therapy can be a scary thing, or you can feel it's not worth it. Especially in your case where you already think you're not of great value!! But you ARE worth it. Your RELATIONSHIP is worth it. Something is seriously wrong here and needs fixing, and I really don't think it's something you'll fix by reading a book or practicing mantras. It sounds like it's a huge part of your life and it'll take someone really talking with you to figure out why.

I'd talk to your insurance people, or check around your local area for therapists. Many specialize in this sort of issue. Really, don't put it off. Even if you only go for a few weeks, they should be able to help you get started on the right path to get your life back into order. Otherwise this can seriously damage the rest of your life, if you sink further and further into this mindset.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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