Is taking a break the right thing to do?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and have lived to gether for about 2 years. While we both want ot get married eventually (iam 24 he is 28), he is definetely more gunshy than I am. WHen we got together I was leaving a fiance and he was leaving a long-term high school based relationship. Recently he came to me an said that he really feels like we should be moving forward to mariiage, family, etc. HOWEVER, that he has been in a relationship since he was 17 and would like some time to himself before we take that step. While I am not unwilling to go through with the break, I am hesitant as to the need for it. It is not as if we want to be apart, he just feels it would be unfair to me or anyone to not take that time for himself first. I kind of feel like if you already know you want to marry someone, why do you need a break? The other side of this is if we do take a break what are good ground rules for a couple that loves each other and has no major issues.Thank you!
You would be wise to let him have his break.
A marriage in which one or both partners feel like they missed something in life is less stable than one where the partners feel comfortable with their life experiences.
Groundrules: no pregnancies, no STD's, a time limit on the break... six months is too long. Three-four months sounds right. No dating best friends.
Good luck with this! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com