we fight constantly
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 months. When we first started dating we were GREAT! but then as every relationship goes after 3 months we started to fight. we started to fight over little things that didnt matter. i lose control of my anger and loudness of my voice. he doesnt understand what i try and tell him. i end up in tears. i will try and walk away from him so i can calm down and he pulls me to him and it actually kind of hurts and then he will just try and get me to talk to him. and it just doesnt work that way i get upset and then we'll talk and i'll become late for class. we both agree we dont want to fight anymore. but we always do. he will say you do this and that and right when he says that i just dont want to listen i just want to hang up the phone or walk away from him. we had a serious talk last week but we were okay till today. what should i do?
You probably learned your fighting style from your mother.
It isn't very productive but changing it would be very difficult.
Try this for a while: whenever a fight crops up just stop and AGREE with him.
That will surprise him and hopefully reduce the tension between you. Do this a number of times and see how it works. If it works, then suggest to him that you two take turns agreeing with each other.
You will definitely find agreeing more fun than disagreeing. You will love it.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!