I am confused what he's doing
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. Two and a half weeks before we broke up, he told me that he wanted me to move to his city (we are in long distance, but not too far). He even suggested me which job to apply to, and he said he didn't want us to be apart. I gladly applied to the job, came for the interview, and got the job. The day after I got the job, though, he said I shouldn't move there, because that wasn't a good enough job for me. I said I wouldn't mind, and that I liked that job okay, but he insisted that he didn't want me to move there. I said relationships have give and take, and he said, "yes, but you should only give if it's worth it. I don't know where our future will be, I can't promise you anything." Then he suddenly suggested that we should be apart for a while. He said he needed some time. he said we didn't have chemistry. When I asked if that meant he would be eventually back, though, he said he didn't know. He said "it may or may not happen." He said he just wanted to be friends. I asked him when he started wanting to leave me, and he said a long time ago! He never told me that at all! I am confused. Around the same time, I have been applying for jobs, and he knows that. Ever since we broke up, he has been calling about once a week. He always sounds cheerful on the phone, as if nothing has happened. He asks about my job interviews and sounds really happy that I got a job (somewhere else). I don't call him anymore, but we talk when he calls. If he calls and leaves a message and I don't call back, then he'll email me and call again. I am just really confused what he's doing. Is it really possible to be "just friends" like that all of a sudden? How come he can deal with it with such ease? Do you think he's really over me now? Or does he even know what he's doing at all?
It doesn't sound like he know's what he is doing.
You two would benefit from a long, honest, caring conversation to figure out what is in his mind. You should promote such a meeting of the minds.
He is jerking you around and you deserve to know why.
Good luck! Georg
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com