GF still loves ex-boyfriend...how to overcome jealousy?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend was in a relationship for four years with a guy. That ended several months before we started dating...it's been nearly a year now. She's very honest with me and told me she wasn't over him yet and that she might even still be in love him. She insists she loves me and she wants a future with me, but she also insists on keeping her ex-boyfriend in her life. It's seeming to me that her feelings towards him aren't getting any weaker. It really hurts me to know that I'm sharing her heart, and makes me wildly jealous. I've thought about asking her to choose between me and him, but that's not fair to her.
It gets more complicated too. Her ex-boyfriend desperately wants her back and talks me down nearly every time they talk, or begs her to take him back, to which she doesn't defend me in most cases. Further, she usually insists on talking to him when I'm not around, which makes me worry about what she's saying that she doesn't want me to hear. She's also been secretive...not telling me always when they talk, and deleting the number from her phone.
I'm having trouble believing that the best way for her to get over her boyfriend is to continue this method of constant communication, because it doesn't seem to be working. But, she refuses to listen to any of my advice. Is there anything I can do to get over this situation?
She is putting you and her ex in a bad place.
And you have every right to be jealous.
On the other hand, you don't want to lose her to him and he wants to get her back. So she is doing the best she can to walk a tightrope.
You could make her make a choice, but suppose she chooses her ex?
It's your choice but you'll have to live with the outcome.
Good luck! George
p.s. she says she is very honest... how about asking her to be honest about her phonecalls?
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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