Is it a break, or is it a breakup?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I began dating a girl mid-August of 2005, i had a huge crush on her before and didn't ask her out for fear of her not feeling the same. One day someone told me that she thought i was just the perfect guy, and so then i asked her out, and for the next 5 months things were great. We were both in school and she has 2 kids, which made it hard to see each other, so we decided that saturdays would the time we spent together, as her mom usually watched the kids on those nights because she had to work early the next morning. Around mid-january things started to change when she eventually started having classes again (1st semester she was volunteering at a hospital) and it seemed she didnt have time to talk like we used to. Eventually there were times when we couldnt hang out, and she said she was afraid it could get worse. It did, and we decided because she didnt have time we would take a break, and let her concentrate on school, but we still work together a couple of days a week. Lately ive noticed that at work she talks more to our co-workers than she does to me, even during out break we still talked on the phone maybe once or twice a week, now we only talk when we see each other at work. spring break she told me she had planned to invite a couple of girlfriends over, and a guy that we work with to play some cards, i kind of thought to myself how can she have this guy over and not have time for me. She told me that it would be stupid to put a strain on a good relationship when we know that after school she will have even more time for me than before. So basically my question is, do you think we will still get back together, or is she just letting me down gently as to not hurt my feelings, because she is my first serious relationship? Advice
It's hard to tell what she is doing.

My sense is that she is trying to let you down easily.

A good thing to do would be to have a long honest talk with her and find out what she is thinking. Be open with her and she should be open with you.

Better to find out now rather than wait.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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