I messed up so bad...and shes the one
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I went out with girl "B" for 4.5 years. The last year and a half of that relationship was absolutely horrible. I was constantly depressed, fighting (verbally) with her, and found myself wishing to be with someone else. I broke up with her shortly after. After I broke up with "B", we continued to be physically be intimate. After a month of being broken up, I met someone else. We will call her "Girl A".
Girl A and I dated for only one week...and she was everything I could have possibly hoped to find in a woman. She was absolutely beautiful, kind-hearted and caring. I could spend the rest of my life with her..
After one week of going out with Girl A, I asked her to be my girlfriend. She accepted almost eagerly. She supposedly had a crush on me for some time. I, on the other hand, still kept in contact with "B". Two weeks into the relationship with Girl A was B's birthday. I was drunk and had relations with B. I didn't want to get back with B because of how horrible our relationship had been, but i still had feelings for her. I still loved B...but was quickly falling for Girl A.
Thats when the lies started. Don't get me wrong...i've never once in my life cheated on someone...and i look down upon liars. But I had messed up..and was scared of losing Girl A..because she was the greatest thing i've ever known. I lied to Girl A, saying i was completely over "B" and that I had no feelings for her.
I am a college student, as are Girls A and B. Amazingly enough...4/5 classes they have this semester...they have together. They saw eachother every single day..and knew who the other was. Girl A thought B was trying to steal me from her...and B thought A stole her from me...because I was scared to lose girl B, i still told her I had feelings for her. I didn't want to be with her...but I didnt want to be completely without her. By this time Girl A had given me her entire heart. I loved her more within a matter of months than I did B within all the years we had gone out. I was just terrified that if I told her the truth, and how much I had lied to her...she would hate me, leave me...and destroy my heart.
The Big Problem::
A few days ago Girl A and B spoke to eachother...and told eachother everything. I had decided that I wanted no one but Girl A...and would end all communication with B. So B, in a desperate act, told Girl A everything so that Girl A would break up with me...and I would be single...and would come back to B.
Well I am now single...B wants me back...and Girl A says that things will never be the same. She says a part of her still loves me...but i crushed her with the lies and by telling B how i still had feelings for her. I have talked to Girl A for a few days now...and i've done everything I can think of to get her back. I've told her that it was never real with B...that I was just scared of losing her. I have told her the complete truth now...and how I believe her to be The One...I love her beyond words. But the truth cannot erase whats been done. She says that we will never be together again because of what i have done. But I still feel there is a chance. She loves me...but i hurt her beyond measure.
All I want is for A and I to be happy and with eachother. I have never known true love until I found her...When i had finally found The One...i screwed it up more than I could have ever thought possible. I have hurt her in more ways than I can even forgive myself...but I am still madly in love with her..and cannot even picture myself without her in the future.
Please, I beg you...any advice is welcome. :'(
"A" needs to be treated like a princess for several months.
Even then she may not forgive you.
Shower her with flowers, candy, small presents, handwritten poetry, emails asking for forgiveness. Ask if you can go out "as friends" and take her to dinner, to movies, for a walk, or concerts, etc.
If you can make any progress, then you may be on the way back to where you were.
But, all in all, your chances are slim since she seems to have made up her mind. But if you don't try, you can't succeed.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com