Relationships and Best Friends

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My best friend likes this guy me and her met. Hes a senior a lil older then us but still he's a really nice guy. I dont like him like my friend does or have any feelings for him but he knows that my friend likes him and has told me that he doesnt really like her. And my friend kind of knows he does either, but then he always gives her mixed signals and i even see it.

And then this guy tells me that hes more attracted to me then my best friend who actually like him. And hes told me im like the perfect kind of girl he would like and how me and him are so much alike. I dont know what to do. I know telling my best friend would be good but if u knew her youd see that was a bad idea. But i need some help. Advice
It is always hard when you have two female friends and guys that one or both of you likes. It can become a serious test of the friendship. But all is NOT fair in love and war. Part of what you are as a person is how you treat those who you care for and who care for you. If you're capable of harming someone you care for, it doesn't matter if it's male or female, it is a general indication that your trust and loyalty are in question. And that doesn't bode well for ANY future relationship of any kind.

Guys and girls both love to flirt. It can easily be that he likes flirting with your friend but just doesn't like her enough to date her. That's fair enough. She can certainly flirt back with him. Who knows, maybe he'll change his mind. Or maybe the flirting will give her enough practice and self-assurance to date someone else she likes. That's part of how you grow and mature, and get comfortable with male-female relationships.

Beware of any guy who says you're the "perfect girl". NO girl and NO guy is perfect. Anyone who claims that is projecting his own beliefs onto you and is really saying he hasn't bothered to get to know you yet, and just assumes you are like his imaginations say you should be. He needs a dose of realism in his brain. You may be GREAT when he really gets to know you, but the key of love is that it is NOT about "perfect". It is about "I love you even though you are NOT perfect." So make sure he doesn't put you on a pedestal. Many girls try to stay on that pedestal because they feel they have to - and it can really hurt how you see yourself and how you act to try to keep up that illusion.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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