He Cheated, He Wants me Back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex cheated on me with my friend while I was out of town and since I have broke up with him he has called twice and today is when I asked him why and he said that he just wanted to say sorry. And his friends told him I cheated on him but I didn't so when he asked me today and I told him I didn't and since that moment he wants to go back with me.
My question is what should I do?
OK, so let's see. This guy trusted his friends without bothering to ask you what the truth was even though they were friends and you were his PARTNER. And then he went off and slept with someone else, but now that you're gone he's sorry and misses you.
It really sounds like he isn't the guy for you. He didn't trust you. He wasn't worthy of trust himself. He didn't bother to talk with you, and he had no qualms about going around and sleeping around. With that kind of a basis of ethics, if you guys got back together and he decided at some other point that "you were being bad", what would stop him from sleeping around again?
Regardless of what you do or don't do, he should have an underlying moral code. If his code says "I can sleep around if I feel like it," it's just not healthy for a relationship. It doesn't matter what you do or don't do. Most guys would say "she slept around, I will confront her with this!" or "She slept around, I will stop dating her." But for this guy to say "Hah! She slept around, I won't bother to talk to her about it, I'll just go sleep around too!" can mean you're in for all sorts of trouble in the future based on what his "thoughts of what you are doing" happen to be.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com