Me and my girlfriend just broke up and I want her back

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I am 20 years old and me and my girlfriend went out for 10 months which were the best 10 months of my life. We were perfect together and had so much fun together and told each other all the time that we loved each other so much and we wanted to be together forever. Me and my girlfriend never really got into huge fights we but argued here and there like any other couple. I did everything for her for her and cared about her so much and would always buy her gifts and I was always there for her when she needed me. Towards the end of out relationship I was stressing my girlfriend out a little and becuase I was a little insecure for some reason but now I realize all the things I did wrong and I would never do that again to her. Two weeks ago my girlfriend ask to have a break cause she needed space and was stressed out. During break we talked a little and I texted her alot and would always ask when we would get back together which probably pushed her away from me a bit. A week into break my girlfriend called me one night drunk and told me how much she loved me and was asking if I was flirting with girls and I said no. I believe the truth comes out when your drunk but the next day she regreted calling me that past night. Last sunday we made plans to hangout and we established that we be friends and build up a new friendship and gradually got back together. While we hungout I could tell she was getting weak that she missed me and she told me I looked good. But two days later my girlfriend called me up and said that she didnt want to be with me anymore and she has lost feelings for me as a boyfriend. I just dont understand how she could feel this way so fast because we loved each other and a week ago she called me drunk and told me she loved me. I asked if she could see us getting back together down the road and she said no. But I feel she is saying that so I dont think its a for sure thing. Right now I am shocked and depressed because I dont want to lose her and I eventually want to get back together with her cause I can see me being with her forever. I just find it hard to believe that she lost all her feelings for me as a partner in less than 2 weeks. Over our break we talked alot which probably wasnt a good idea and I asked her alot when we were getting back which might have pushed her away. Its only been a few days now since she ended it and I feel it is a harsh thing for her to say that she cant see me with her down the road and her losing feeling for me when she hasnt experienced being without me yet for a few weeks and not talking becuase over our break we were talking and hungout so it wasnt really a break. I wrote her a letter today saying how much I care about her and that I and thankful that she was in my life and I told her about all the great times we had together and I told her to call me when she is ready to talk or become friends or be part of my life again. I feel that if she doenst have me in her life for a few weeks starting now that she will start to miss me and come back to me since she hasnt experienced it yet. I just would like to know if you think there is a good chance that she is going to miss me and come back to me and if I dont here from her soon after the letter and all what should I do to try to gradually get her back? I just feel like I was pushing her away on break and she said that stuff to me like she didnt want to be with me anymore and go our seperate ways because she was mad and she felt she had to end it that way for now and not tell me that there was a chance we could get back down the road because she felt I would be waiting around for her. We loved each other so much and I know she still cares about me alot do you think she is going to miss me if I dont see her or talk to her for a few weeks? And do you think the letter was a good idea? Also if she doesnt call soon what steps should I take to get her back in my life? Advice
She wants a break, but she doesn't have a heart of stone.

This explains why she is on again off again. My advice is to let her have her break and be ready for it to last longer than a few weeks. After four weeks if she hasn't contacted you then ask her if you can call her once a week just to keep in touch. Keep the talk to 15 mins, be cheerful and you can tell her you miss her and care for her but don't talk about your relationship.

Your letter probably didn't do much harm, but went against the idea of having a break. The longer you try to contact her the longer she will have to wait to get her break. It is hurtful for you to do this but if you want her back you will have to do it by her terms.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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don't call her
she loves you too
It's her loss

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