Justified Jealousy?Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend of two years and I have been recently having some troubles. We both moved away from home to go to college at the same place, and we are neighbors. One night he was being very rude to me, and i got upset, and I looked at his cell phone. I know I shouldn't have and that it was an invasion of his personal space, but I still did it. I saw that a female I did not know had sent him many text messages asking him to hang out and to go places with her, but all of his responses that I saw were saying that he was too busy. I also saw she had called him several times, and he called her one time. I was incredibly jealous when I saw this and confronted him, he said she had a crush on him and asked him out several times, he told me that he told her he has a girlfriend but he won't tell her to stop calling. He said there's nothing going on and denies talking to her on the phone, though his call records say differently, but why is he continuing texting and talking to her and possibly seeing her behind my back? He never mentioned her too me, and in several cases this has happened the other way around and I've always told him right away about other guys asking me out. Now do I have a reason to be jealous, or is this an unhealthy out of control form of jealousy? I know he's upset that I looked through his phone, and he thinks I don't trust him, but I feel it's what I have to do if he's not being up-front and honest with me. Please help me. I don't know if the problem is me or him.
The trouble lies between you two.
He should have told you about the girl and you shouldn't have pried into his cell phone and then distrusted him.
Strike a deal: he should not contact her and whenever she contacts him he will tell you about it and answer questions.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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