Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been involved on and off with a guy for about 3 years.
Life has been difficult for all 3. He cheated on his wife, left her for me, and we've been living together since.
I, myself, have never been unfaithful, yet this man is so incredibly controlling, I find myself with a "wondering eye", so to speak. And for good reason. He is subtle in his control methods, but he clearly dislikes me having any sort of life that doesn't include him 24/7. It's as if he has to baby-sit me. If I go somewhere by myself, he cops a major attitude, with insinuations that I'm out doing things, i.e. cheating, and what-not. I have a few friends that happen to be male. I'm not the type that judges friends by their genders, and feel that people are people.
I cannot even talk on the phone or text message anyone without a huge hassle and the 3rd degree.
Tonight, he was rambling something about not following the way he wants to live.
What does that mean? And why is he doing this to me? What can I do about it? I'm miserable, isolated, and depressed because I have to sneak around to talk or interact with anyone besides him. It's not fair.
Any suggestions? Advice
Yes you do have a control freak on your hands.

His cheating has probably made him hypersensitive about you and the possibility that you might cheat on him.

Don't let him continue with this... tell him in no uncertain terms that he is being controlling and overly jealous and that you don't like living that way. Tell him he is suffocating you with his 24/7 attitude and if your relationship is going to survive he has to learn to loosen up.

It's for his own good that he learns how to behave more normally.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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