my friend

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
well, this question is about my friend, not me. ok, he started liking this girl during the 1st quarter of our school year, they are good friends and enjoy each others company (at least it seems that way.) he really likes her but she has a bf that lives in pennsylvania (she moved here this year.) now, he knows the rules about asking some one out if there already going out with some one but she really does seem to like him and her relationship with her current bf is seeming to wither away. this knowledge is just coming off of what we read on her web blogs. she always asks him to call her if were going to be doing anything over the weekend like seeing movies or going to friends houses and just hanging out. hes usually extremely nervous to call her and we usually preasure him into it which probably isnt a good thing but it usually turns out good in the end and hes usually thankful for it. my friend is a very intelegent person and can be a very nice person but hes just not a very good people person. the two of them seem perfect for each other. there personalities are pretty similar and every thing too and she really seems to like him alot. the thing that im worried about is that i think hes too nervous to keep up with all of this and hopefully hold on to a good friendship long enough to possibly get the chance to ask her out (if she breaks up with her bf that is.) but he seems to be trying to get rid of the whole idea of even liking her. i know this girl likes him and i know that he likes her but hes trying to just ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. i know that if he just stayed in the game he would have a chance eventually. i just want to know if there is any advice i could give him to help him with this dilema. thank you so much. also thanks for the advice earlier. Advice
You are doing a nice thing for a friend.

It is important for him to get closer to this girl not just for the sake of getting closer to her but more importantly so that he starts to get over his shyness.

Shyness could follow him the rest of his life if he doesn't attack it now and get over it. Show him how easy it is to say hello to a relative stranger and get a hello back. Show him how to look people in the eyes, say in a clear voice "Hi" plus their name, and give them a big smile. Do this while you two are walking in the hallway. This will help him get over shyness.

Meanwhile, he shouldn't give up on this girl. You are right that he should be ready if she and her boyfriend don't work out. Lead him by the hand if you have to. He seems to need it.

Keep up the good work! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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