my boyfriend is jealous of my friends

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend is 30 and I am 23. We have been dating on/off for three years. He has always had a problem with me hanging out with my friends, but its gotten out of hand lately. Now he tells me he can't take it anymore. I asked him last week if it was alright that I go out with friends (my best girl friend and a gay male friend, both who he knows). I don't think I need to ask his permission in the first place seeing as how we didn't have any plans. He says "fine" and that night he gets angry tells me its not acceptable to him for me to go out to bars/clubs with my friends. He says he is not in a place in his life where he wants a girlfriend who go out until 2am. He tells me that is just not appropriate now that he is older, regardless if this is exactly what himself and most people my age and his age do. He said no serious relationships he knows of, allows for time with friends like this and that I have someone to come home to and therefore shouldn't be out late. I told him its really not his place to tell me what to do and that I won't tolerate it. I think this is ridiculous and now we have broken up over this. What I want to know is, am I making the right decision and is it possible for him to change, if I can somehow show him he is wrong? Advice
You can't get him to change his mind... it is made up already.

He sounds very controlling and that is not the kind of man you want to be with. Of course it is alright for you to go out with your friends. You would be resentful if you felt forced to give into his view of the world.

Let things stand the way they are and be happy to be rid of him.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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